Top 10 Things that Irk Me Re: Being a Writer

As a writer I hardly ever tell people I write books. Why? Well, the conversation directly after that usually goes completely downhill if that person doesn’t: 1) read or 2) respect the craft of writing.

I just have to get this off my chest.  So, mini-rant coming in 5,4,3,2…

1) Why do people ask where do they sell your books? Uhmmmm … at the bookstore, you think. WTH? And then some ask which one. Uhmmmm. Every one. W.T.H.?

2) Why do people ask me if I have some of my books with me to sell? Okay, this goes back to #1.  I write books. I don’t sell books.  Bookstores sell books.  My publisher doesn’t give me credit for any books/units that I personally sell.  Higher book sales=higher royalties & bigger advances for the next contract.  Furthermore, a real reader would already have a trip to the bookstore (online or local) planned. Now, a while back I did sell some books via my website but that was for readers who were already using my site, meaning they read my stuff already and probably just wanted an autographed or hard to find book.

3) I hate when people who don’t read books want to tell me the next book I should write. Mind you, these are people WHO DON’T READ BOOKS.  Trust me, y’all, I got this and I don’t need help.

4) Why do people feel  its okay to ask me–a grown a*s woman–what I make from writing? Okay: 1) You’re rude,  2) You’re nosey.  And my usual response:  “How much was your last paycheck?”  LOL.  That gets ’em out my face EACH and EVERY time.

5) Some of you know already that my family/friends call me when they know I’m working and say “I know you’re busy, but let me just tell you this real quick”.  Sigh.  Writing is so much more than typing.  When the phone rings it breaks my flow of thought. It brings me crashing out of the world I am creating.  It jacks up everything.  Respect that writing involves mental activity that shouldn’t be interrupted because you want to “tell me something real quick”.  I had to tell my cousin–whom I love dearly–“Girl, when you at Wendy’s, taking them orders, I don’t get on the phone and call your job, f’ing up Wendy’s hamburger flow, to tell you something.” Humph.

6) Why do people always ask me to write about a book about them?  *side eye* If your life ain’t interesting enough for you to pick up a pen and a pad and write about it YOself what makes you think: 1) I’m interested or 2) readers would be interested.

7) Even though people are rude and nosey to be all up in my financials (ahem, #3), on the flip side, why do other people think I ain’t making money?  Like I’m playing. Like I’m cute in that condescending “oh, she writes book” kinda way.   Hello, I’m home all day every day with major bills (mortgage, car note,  insurance–life, medical, home, and cars, utilities, etc. with a need to shop for nice things, entertain, and vacation).  Nothing got–or will get–repo’ed, foreclosed, turned off, etc.  People expand your mind and respect my gansta.

8) Why do people who never support writers by buying a book want me to give money away?  Don’t ask me for a free book . Hell—->No. I do monthly giveaways…for my readers!!!

9 ) Why do people assume when they hear that someone writes that they’re not published?  Like I’m home writing for the fun of it.  Uhmmm… writing is in my blood and all of that, but so is the need to live comfortably with shelter, food, utilities, clothes, etc.  Why would someone answer “I write books” when asked “What do you do?” if they are not making money off of it.  Writing for fun is a hobby.  Writing as a career is not. Goodnight.

10) Why do people I know feel the need to lie and say “I’m going to buy your next book” in a “I don’t really mean it” kind of way.  Like I ain’t selling books nationwide. Puh-leeze. Like my books haven’t been showcased in national publications. Whateva.

11)  And please, people, just because you see me with a notebook and a pen doesn’t mean I am taking notes on whatever function/event/people I’m around.  I write by hand because my laptop is too heavy to be toting around everywhere.  And if I’m writing, 10 times out of 10, I ain’t paying nobody or nothing around me ANY attention.  I’m deep into my ish.  Trust and believe that.

Okay, I had to get that off my chest.  Maybe I need to get out this small town and visit my hometown more often.  Trust and believe some other authors are thinking the same thing or have been asked the same things.  I just had to put it out there.

For my readers/the readers, I love y’all 2 death and I know y’all understand.  That’s why I’m online so much because most people around me DON’T READ books and are proud of that fact too. SAD. I have to connect with people who are like me and love books.  This post, like I said, is for those: 1) who don’t read and/or 2) don’t respect the craft of writing. I don’t mind people asking me about writing. (i.e. do you use outlines, when do you find time to write, what’s your writing schedule, how do you create a certain character, what’s your favorite book, etc.) but in your own professions I’m sure people have asked you some crazy ish too. Things that made you PAUSE. Right?

Seriously I feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  Sometimes you just have to get it off.

Now when someone does one of the things on my list I may hand them a business card with the direct link to this post. Ow! LOL.